As therapists, we often hear this question from friends, colleagues, and even distant acquaintances:
“Since you’re a therapist, can I just talk to you about what’s going on?”
While it might seem harmless, the truth is that professional ethics — and your well-being — require us to say no. This isn’t about rejection. It’s about protecting you, protecting the therapeutic process, and protecting the integrity of our professional role.
The issue at hand? Dual relationships.
What is a Dual Relationship?
A dual relationship happens when a therapist has more than one type of relationship with a client at the same time. In other words, they are not just your therapist — they are also your friend, family member, co-worker, business partner, or romantic partner.
Dual relationships can be:
Social – e.g., your therapist is also your cousin, best friend, or church member. Professional – e.g., your therapist is also your supervisor, employee, or business partner. Financial – e.g., your therapist is your landlord or owes you money. Online/Community Overlap – e.g., you follow each other on social media and interact as friends outside of therapy.
Why Dual Relationships Are a Problem
Dual relationships blur boundaries. This creates three major risks:
Loss of Objectivity A therapist who is also a friend or family member may struggle to be neutral. Our personal connection could cloud judgment or lead to favoritism. Breach of Confidentiality If we have overlapping social or professional circles, it’s harder to guarantee your privacy. Potential for Harm The power dynamic in therapy is unique. Mixing it with another role can unintentionally exploit trust, make you feel pressured, or create a conflict of interest.
Ethical Guidelines for Therapists
Professional organizations like the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) and the American Psychological Association (APA) clearly state that dual relationships should be avoided when they could impair professional judgment or increase the risk of harm.
In short:
We cannot be both your therapist and your friend/family member. We cannot enter into business or financial arrangements with clients. We must keep the therapeutic space free from outside roles or obligations.
What About Small Communities?
In smaller towns, cultural communities, or niche professional circles, avoiding all dual relationships can be nearly impossible. Therapists may see clients at the grocery store, at church, or at community events.
In these situations, the therapist must:
Discuss the potential overlap openly with the client. Set clear boundaries about what will and won’t happen outside sessions. Prioritize confidentiality and your therapeutic needs above all else.
Why I Can’t Be Your Therapist If We Have Another Relationship
If we already share a personal, professional, or financial connection, I can’t ethically or effectively be your therapist because:
You deserve a neutral, unbiased space. Therapy requires emotional safety, and multiple roles make that harder to achieve. Our existing relationship could unintentionally influence what you feel safe sharing.
How to Move Forward If You Want Support
If you’ve been hoping I could be your therapist, I want you to know: I still care about your well-being. Here’s what I can do:
Recommend trusted, qualified therapists outside our circle. Help you find someone who understands your background, culture, or specific concerns. Support you in getting started with therapy while respecting our boundaries.
Bottom line: Saying “I can’t be your therapist” isn’t rejection — it’s protection. Clear boundaries create the conditions for therapy to be safe, ethical, and truly healing.
✨ Luxury Mental Health and Professional Social Work Services
📞 Call/Text: (616) 345-0616
📧 Email: leonica@socialworkconcierge.com
📍 Serving Black Women & Marginalized Communities in Michigan
🖤 Evolve or Repeat.
The Social Work Concierge, LLC 
Leave a comment